community. and no, not the show on NBC

December 7, 2010 § 1 Comment

which by the way, i do love.

today’s #reverb10 prompt is: Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?

this is a really tough one. i don’t really feel like i belong to a community. i have my family community, they’re great. and i have friends, some close, some far. i have found a lot of incredible people through my online community, bad apples too. the tough thing about having most of your friends behind a screen, they tend to get used to the feeling of a mask. but i had a problem too. i was just spending all this time, investing this huge piece of myself to these people. thinking it was the most important community to tend to. and then shit got real, and then i realized, what am i doing?! i bought my camera and said screw this, i’m going back to seeing the world and life, the one in front of me, that i can touch and see and smell and hear and feel.

i’ve left communities this year, and started with new ones (still trying to find the brain power or energy to get involved with Jack’s very big school community) and made a vow to myself to tend the community that is around me. the people in my real life. and i still have the benefit of an amazing, supportive online community. but i had to make more out of the time i was staring at a screen. it’s been hard to enter the “blog” community. oh…you have a blog, eh? just like her and her and her. cool.

i guess the long story short is, i’m still searching for my community. what that means and how my family will participate in it. sometimes i worry i can’t be in a community right now, they expect too much and what if i can’t measure up. i guess i don’t really feel i’m all that great at being a part of any of the communities i’m in. but i’m trying more and more everyday to put myself out there and nurture relationships.

in 2011 i’d like to try and find a photographer community here, there must be some people who don’t make you feel like it’s a total competition. i’d like to go out with my mom friends, for girl’s night out or sunday brunch. and in 2011, i will participate in something at Jack’s school.

if you’re still here, go to bed.

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